Questioning Your Assumptions
Winter break can provide teachers a bit of time and space to reflect on how the school year has gone so far, and to decide what adjustments to make in January. This year, in addition to thinking about classroom routines and procedures, progress toward learning goals (for yourself and your students), and so forth, I encourage you to take some time to consider the assumptions you've made about your students.
We can't help but make assumptions. We judge students continually based on what they say, how they behave, the way they respond when they are upset, and all sorts of other clues they give us each day in school. But sometimes the conclusions we draw are wrong.
I learned this lesson during my second year of teaching, when a gift from a first grader spurred me to question my assumptions about him. In December of that year, this student was one I wasn't sure I was reaching. He was often quiet, sometimes sad, and easily frustrated. His frustration was often directed at me, as I tried to help him move forward socially and academically. Because he was so often angry at me, I assumed that he didn't like me or school, and that my efforts to help him had failed so far.
However, after dismissal for winter break, this student lingered behind in our classroom and shyly pulled a small pinewood derby car from his backpack. He told me he wanted me to have it because it was the most special thing he had, and therefore, the best gift he could give me. I realized this was the car he'd told us he'd spent hours making with his mom, the one that had won his Boy Scout troop's pinewood derby race. Of course, I tried to give it back, but I quickly sensed that I was hurting his feelings by doing so. So I kept the gift, which sits in a place of honor on my bookshelf to this day.
I was surprised by this child's gift and by the feelings that were clearly attached to it. I had wrongly assumed that frustration was all he felt towards me. However, the truth was that his feelings were much more complicated. Even though it was frustrating for him, he understood that when I pushed him to do more, encouraged him to stick with tasks that were difficult, or held him to a high standard, I did so for his benefit. I had misjudged him.
Children and their behaviors are often more complicated than what appears on the surface. One might assume that a child who is fidgety and seems distracted during whole-group instruction isn't paying attention, but sometimes it turns out that she can repeat what was said almost verbatim. Or it might seem that a child who frequently questions or refuses to follow your directions dislikes school. But questioning authority may be his way of figuring out the world. A child with a strong sense of justice and fairness can exhibit what seems like defiant behavior.
So, as you enjoy some well-deserved rest during this winter break, take some time to think about your students. Are there some you don't know as well as others? Are there some whose relationships with you or their classmates seem troubled? What assumptions have you made about them? As you rejoin your class in the New Year, try to look at your students with fresh eyes. I'd love to hear what you find out.
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Margaret,
I think you're spot on. We busily push forward with little time for reflection as the tide of curriculum, staff meetings and test prep sweep us along. I've had children in my classroom over the years, who behave in ways that are not easily understood without careful, reflective thought to what's fueling that behavior.
A child once put plant food in my drinking water. My first thought, after the obvious health concern, was the ache of knowing that he somehow disliked me; so much so that he wanted to hurt me. Piecing together the following facts helped change how I viewed the situation. His mother left him and his younger brother with a disfunctional alcoholic father. They were essentially raising themselves, on the streets till all hours, left with nobody to love and care for them.
As the only adult he could really count on, I had "tucked him under my wing", so to speak. I cared for him and had provided him with some of the emotional staples that his mother may have given him had she been capable.
As sixth grade drew to a close, his behavior disclosed a growing anxiety that culminated in the plant food incident. He would not only be leaving the safety and security of only school he had known, he would be leaving the only adult who cared for him. Certainly in his eyes it would be easier to leave me if he did something bad enough to make me leave him first.
I was given the choice of whether to keep him in my classroom for the rest of the year, or to have him expelled. I chose to keep him in order to give him something he had not yet experienced in his twelve years; the gift of unconditional love and forgiveness.
Thanks for the great reminder to take a second look at our students and to reflect on the assumptions we have made about them. It may change the way they look at the world.
This post reminded me of my own experience that is similar to yours. It also reminded me of how off our assumptions of individuals can be. Sometimes you make an assumption and you are spot-on; however, other times you make an assumption based on a student's behaviors and it is almost the furthest thing from the truth!
Your post is a great reminder to take some time while you are away from the rush of the classroom to reflect on the children you work with. As you mentioned, that is the best way to check your assumptions and see if they were on target or if you need to reevaluate them based on the information you have acquired in the first part of the year.
Beautiful stories! I find that we interpret all children's behaviors (and adults' too) through the lens of the "stories" we tell ourselves. If we can change a negative story (he is lazy...she doesn't like me....they are unprepared...) to positive stories (he is confused...she is worried about things at home...I am not teaching at their level....) we will automatically change our own behavior to be more positive and effective. Thanks so much for this reminder!!!