Articles

Why Do Children Defy Authority? At certain ages, children are more likely to defy us and take active steps to test limits. At other ages, children are tuned in to issues of fairness and may push back when they sense an adult is being unjust. Picture Amelia, a sixth grader.…

Public discipline systems—like Class Dojo, stoplights, moving clothespins along a colored card, writing names on the board—can certainly be appealing. Some days can feel as if they’re spent just disciplining, and public discipline systems promise to turn that around by decreasing misbehavior and increasing motivation through the use of visual…

Children build on their strengths, and to do that building—to grow academically and socially—they need us to recognize and encourage their positive efforts. But what’s the best way to offer that recognition and encouragement? For some time, I used rewards—tickets that I gave out when students met expectations. But something…

A reality of teaching that all teachers know well is that no matter how effectively we teach, no matter how hard students try, and no matter how many good days the class has together, students will sometimes need more—more direction, more support, more teaching, more time. But in one of…

I once taught a second grader who sometimes subtly refused to go along with what we were doing. For instance, if we had to leave the classroom and John didn't want to go, he'd get in line—but then walk as slowly as possible. The more his classmates and I urged…

During my years of teaching, I have used individual written agreements coupled with a simple token system to give children with particularly challenging behavior the extra support they need to improve. Recently, I learned a big lesson about the effective use of these systems through a mistake I made while…

A few years ago, I had a student who broke me. During our very first Morning Meeting, as my brand new class met each other, he slapped another first grader. Hard. As the year progressed, his behavior challenges continued. He pushed over desks, punched children on the playground, and drew…

An adapted excerpt from Chapter One of the award-winning book, How to Bullyproof Your Classroom Bullying typically does not emerge from thin air. It starts with small, mean social behaviors, such as Missy's whisper to Laticia as the children trickle into their third grade classroom: "Your hair's nappy. You'll never…

"Jaime isn’t lining up in the right place." "Grayson said a bad word." "Olivia hit me!" I know from teaching young children myself how challenging it can be to face a seemingly endless parade of students reporting things to you as you’re trying to teach. Figuring out how to deal…

Question: I have a dilemma about time-out. I tell my students that time-out is not a punishment, but I know it can feel like punishment when I send them to time-out for acting out. It probably doesn’t help that their previous teachers may have used time-out as a punishment—and I’ve…

After a busy morning, Mr. Hulsey’s third graders are ready for lunch, squirming as they stand in line at their classroom door. Mr. Hulsey raises his hand, the agreed-upon class signal for attention. When everyone’s quiet and looking at him, he speaks: “Our rules say we’ll take care of each…

Learning to give and receive apologies is a complex social skill. As a school counselor, I am often asked to give advice about having children apologize in school. Are there times when a teacher should require, facilitate, or even suggest an apology? And if so, what skills do children need…

"Teacher, he won't play with me." "Teacher, she cut in line." "Teacher, he took my book." Such classroom conflicts are familiar in elementary school life. For years, resolving such conflicts for children filled my days. I lost valuable teaching time, and the children learned nothing about resolving their own conflicts—or…

When Corey joined my fourth grade class, he already had a history of school struggles and had spent part of third grade in a self-contained room for children with behavior problems. When he was mainstreamed into my class in fourth grade, Corey had trouble making good choices, interacting with others,…

Derek was a fifth grader who was avoiding writing. Whenever we had writing time, he would ask to go to the bathroom, and there he would linger. After observing this for a week, I decided to have a problem-solving conference with him. A problem-solving conference is a technique for addressing…

Chris was a student who struggled socially. He was in Sarah Fiarman’s mixed-grade class for two years, first as a fifth grader and then as a sixth. Of all the points working against Chris, the biggest was probably his reputation as a trouble maker. By the time Chris came into…

Question: I’ve had pretty good success using time-out with most children. I have children go to time-out to regain their self-control as they start to lose it. But what about the child who just refuses to go to time-out when told to? I keep trying different things, and nothing seems…